THE MAN!

The man is a very interesting species; very simple in design. The man is amazing. I love a man so much it is scary. I just hope that when I believe he is a man then indeed he is a man. American R and B artist Babyface has a song in which he says, ‘bring back those simple times of yesterday, when a man was a man and a friend was a friend’.

Oh how I wish I were born in an era when you were sure that indeed a man was a man. Bagaetsho, I am not discriminating against those who either by choice or nature tend towards those of their own sex for various reasons. I do not understand homosexuality as much as I would like to and I do not mind it either. But I am well aware of my sexuality and I prefer a man as a man!

With that said, I do believe that there is a very big problem and men will have to work hard to solve this one for me. You see, in today’s world of the economically emancipated woman and the ever so feminine and metrosexual man, it is very hard for a woman to tell exactly whether a man really is a man, well at least in the sexual orientation way. A man today is very diverse. Some wear pink shirts, others wear blue shirts, some do their nails and others hammer in nails, some wax their legs others wax their cars, some treat their ladies like queens and others are drag queens. What I am saying is that a man today could be something else so, now more than ever in the history of mankind, it is crucial that a man who is indeed a man makes that definition very, very clear. You can do it, because there are those who do it, ke gore hela ga ba re lekane.

So, in a time where a woman wears the pants while some men want to wear the panty, it is advisable for the old school man out there to remain a man. Strong independent women need a strong independent man who is sure about his story. She needs broad tough shoulders to lean on. We need a guy who does not share our earrings, who uses cosmetics meant for men, and even when he does he stops at the lotion and avoids the tinted powder. Please be a man, be THE MAN! Please. Or else, the human race will die out as I am definitely not having sex with an ‘almost’ man, because I know I will only have an almost orgasm and we all know that almost does not count!

FAITHFUL CRISIS

They say a person is more likely to cheat when they are happiest. I suppose this is because they release whatever hormones make them happy and then get so high that their faculties evade them. This has to be true. Admit it, you have experienced it. You showed your most stupid behavior when you were very happy. That is why Motswana a re monate o hela ka bothoko.

Now, thanks to the economic crisis, very few people are happy. We walk around with our problems firmly planted on our faces and everyone around us understands. I tell you even prostitutes are having a hard time in their very noble profession. Who has the energy for a session of costly sex? We are too hungry, broke, depressed and most importantly we are extremely rational in our thinking when we are facing a crisis. I mean we have to be in that mode to do complicated budgets, make ends meet, evade the tax man and others. This means that a lot of people are very faithful at this point in time. It is enough that we are trying to sort out our own family problems to be concerned about small houses and looking over our shoulders.

Now, a problem bigger than the financial crisis has been predicted by global economists. They claim that the financial crisis will soon be getting better. This is a problem because when we start getting happier because our budgets are getting bigger, we also start getting more and more irrational and therefore stupid and so we are more likely to cheat. That is a fact. So, enjoy the man or woman who is sulking next to you, they are very faithful. Akere a bolaya a tshega! Very soon they will be all smiles and ready to break your heart.

The question is are you ready with a plan on how you are going to execute your cheating? Is your plan airtight? Get ready to get happy and unfaithful! Do not act all righteous about it, you know it is the truth, if you think otherwise, well, get ready anyway!