So, there I am the loyal passenger seat filler in the 4x4 with pimped out shock absorbers. The driver cum navigator is my boyfriend; let us call him “Shimane”. Shimane believes we are on track despite having had to read between the lines mumbled by the petrol attendant giving us “directions”.
Shimane also claims that we were given the long route and he personally just so happens to know the SHORTCUT!
So, that is where we are, and for once I am thrilled that he decided to get the state-of-the-art Australian shock absorbers just because the Australians say they are great for Botswana! Ija!
We are lost and I’m really pressed but I will not say a thing because this is the glorified shortcut. While there I spot the portable toilet planted for the coming road construction, I head straight into it and quickly do my business so he can come in next. As I step out, he is busy, watering the wall of the portable toilet with the “golden waters”. I am shocked to say the least and he explains that it is a SHORTCUT! He was really pressed and would have never made it to the toilet.
Right, so we press on over rough terrain constantly avoiding “wild” cows in Gaborone, the country’s capital farm!
Arriving at the destination, his friend’s house, Shimane heads straight for the fridge, it is sweltering outside and only the fridge is privy to the secret of the Kalahari thirst.
I walk in and there, right before my naked eyes, each grown man armed with a fridge bottle of cold water and performing mouth to mouth; just in arms’ reach are large clean water glasses. They explain, “Boi, we are really dehydrated and were nervous we might break or dirty the glasses, plus really, this is a SHORTCUT!” Ao!
When we get back home, via the rather long “shortcut”, I suggest that Shimane “cool down” with a “long” shower. Heat is amazing at amplifying odour.
What?! In only 5 minutes, how can you be done? The response is that he took an “Omang shower”. What? Shimane explains that he has little time to finish off pending work and he had to take the SHORTCUT! Siss!
As we get into bed and get rather excited, we are already halfway to the end of THEE ACT. Uhu, jang jaanong? He explains that he has an early morning meeting and so as to sleep early he had to cut out foreplay and take the SHORTCUT!
I swear if you keep up the SHORTCUTS we will just have to CUT YOU SHORT!
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